story of my life

i wish too

2011-08-31T02:03:00.001+08:00

I want to have a proper family ... I really wish that ... Ya Allah bile aku boleh dpt ?? I really want to so much ... I'm so jealous for org yg Ada proper family sei :(

ya allah

2011-08-23T02:11:00.001+08:00

Ya Allah .. Kuat kan iman ku .. Pls protect mi from those evil .. N show mi a gd one .. Life is been hard .. Help mi to lighten the burner that I'm carry .. N make mi bcum a good women ... N bless my family , anak .. Keep them safe alway .. Amin

dekat di dalam hati

2011-08-23T02:07:00.001+08:00

You forgotten everything .. It ok .. I still not yet forget abt us .. Ingat ! :)

adoiiu

2011-08-22T01:11:00.001+08:00

Still nvr learn from ur mistake .... Kecian kau .. Nak rosak kan diri go ahead.. Don't try to rosak kan org lain punya hidup! ...... Jgn nak control org punya hidup ........!!Look at the big mirror first !! PLSS!! Faham ... -_- .....!!

rossa - hati yang terpilih

2011-08-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

ya allah ..

2011-07-31T06:31:00.001+08:00

Yesterday .. Wen to west coast park with my anak n cik Jo family .. Flying kite there .. Rush bk .. Lambat so we ONI pray for ishak .. N lepak there then go bk Hm .. My adek sedara iman sleep at my place .. He n my anak sleep at my bed .. So now I'm sleeping below .. So kecian Lo mi .. Hee .. Ya allah yg tuhan ku .. A uzubillahiminasyaitan nirrajim Bismillahirrahmannirahim...,Astaghfirullahaazin..... Allah you the almighty god.. Amin . Subahanna Allah .

allahhh

2011-07-30T03:37:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I pray with cik jo .. For ishak .. After that today I refresh bk sum knowledge of Islam .ruku iman n ruku Islam .. N I know how to shahadat already .. I'm still trying hard to learn .. Ya Allah .. Pls give mi more strength n make mintier stronger .. Protect mi , my anak , my family n People that I know from those evil .. Make all of us more stronger ... Ya Allah .. Ur the greatest god n almighty god .. Amin. (thank Abg Yan n cik Jo for teaching mi ) I will goin n nvr give up . Coz everything cum natural .. Ya allah show the right path to go on to .. Subanah Allah ...

:)

2011-07-26T01:54:00.001+08:00

Today I read the praying for zhohor 4raka"at , maghrib 3raka"at n isha 4raka"at .. So proud of myself .. :) hopefully I will keep goin .. Allah pls bless mi, my anak ,family n friend n protect them from those evil .. Amin

this weekend was great

2011-07-25T01:17:00.001+08:00

Starting to learn back everything .. Hopefully Allah will alway show mi the good path .. N keep mi more stronger . Forgive the sin that I have done .. I'm starting feeling proud of myself .. Coz I'm learning praying now .. I know it not that essay but I will try my very best to learn as much as I can .... My this weekend was great .. I love it .. Enjoy alot .. Oh shit ... I so want to have a baby .. After my anak us 6year .. Out of suddenly I have this feeling .. Aku nak ade anak .. I feel so jealous .... Hmph ... !! I will sabar . Hope I will have a baby with the person with really comit everytin with mi ,... No more thinking abt anytin .. Coz I want to have a free mind .. Don't disturb .. I wan to be happy .. Fuck you ! Heee.. Nyte :) B!:)

worst

2011-07-14T13:44:00.001+08:00

Oh .. I feeling so bored in my life now... Oh .. Y ... Oh ... Im feeling whAt in my heart ? I also don't know.. I don't know how to tin .. Worst !

....

2011-07-10T13:11:00.001+08:00

Everything I had done all just becoz I wanna to find my happiness .. I don't have busuk hati nak sakit kan hati org .. Knp org suka nak pikir yg bad Tin abt mi .. Aku ni ppm Jahat ke ... Thou new refresh everytin will turn good but no ... Why can't I just find that happiness that I have wanted so long .. So much tin happen .. Is like getting worst .... Doa yg baik .. Tapi tohan bum balas yg baik untuk ku ... Aku resah sedih ngn diriku ... Knp..? Ya Allah .. I tot in the very first place u r sending mi an angel ... But y everytin is different nw ... Tyme past My feeling just like turning round n round ... What I had done is already had done ...I shouldn't b upset pasal diriku ni .. Cox no 1 in this world will kecian kat Kau.. People ONI think of bad thing that u had done n not the good thing... Why must I alway Tin for other wen they font even care ... Why am alway so. Stupid.. I sorry if I do Tin that hurt you ... Afterall I realize that all is my fault .. If not mayb Tin won't happen this way ... My heart is crying .. Ade org ke bolh faham ? :(

2011-05-29T21:33:00.002+08:00

sumtyme i do feel upset with my life.. i dont wat should i do else to make it better .. there just too much challenging..til sumtyme i feel giving up .. i have alway try to learn n want it turn out nice.. it alway fail .. i never do bad to people .. but why everytin is just crashing dwn .. i alway say to myself .. i will get better .. n i will be sure better .. having a better life.. why there so much problem alway keep cuming.. sampai i feel upset ngn diri sendiri .. what so wrong about mi.. alway do the best to show.. but why ? no one really understand it all..if will to tell .. i feel so shame.. ya allah ape la salah ku yang buat ni samannya.. knp la ape yang i buat semua seem to be more wrong n wrong.. ke it showing sumtin to move on again ? im tired .. im serious tired.. siapa boleh faham lagi ..pls be fair to mi .. give mi a good life in the future .. i know that i did not pray .. n addin sinful stuff.. but i alway to be honest in my lfe ..n alway do good tin to people ..n help people ard mi .. knp ni .. knp ni .. i sedih tau . ape terjadi ni semua ni .. hati sakit .. tapi siapa akan faham lagiii.. ya allah .. kuat kan iman ku .. make mi stronger la.. i dont want to be upset anymore..pls .. dont make mi feel it unfair...it just so simply .. i just want to have a happy simply little good family... all those words it really hurtin mi .. i sabar ,i sabar.. n alot tyme.. im scare..im scare .. im starting to be scareee... hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for mi ..n bring up myself up again .. as a happy soul .. n never will feel scare about everytin expect u my god. ALLAH ...

SAYA SEDIH .. SAYA SEDIH DI DALAM HATI ..

2011-03-30T21:22:00.002+08:00

ya allah .. ya allah .. kuat kan iman ku .. make mi feel stronger .. pls protect mi far away from those evil ... ya allah .. pls show the path that is good for mi .. ya allah pls help mi to throw away those unhappiness.. make mi be a stronger person .. n can protect my ownself .. dont let anyone to make mi down ... ya allah maaf kan la yang dosa2 elly buat in the past ... ya allah .. ya allah ... make mi a stronger person .. amin...

2011-02-08T20:59:00.002+08:00

im serious dont know what is my head thinking about ... i dont know what should i do n else .. why must all my relationship cant really have peace at all .. im really wonder .. every of my new relationship i learn ,so i can handle it more careful..but it just that it not work it at all .... what so wrong about mi .. what have i really done .. why cant i can get sumtin wat other have ... why am i getting scare n not dare to give all out .. why is so hard to have someone to love n understand mi to stay happily til the end.. why must so many setan borthering ... why ? i trying to be so stronge even im not .. treating all my next day is a new good day.. but why it just cant work at all .. im forcing myself so much just to forget about my past n learning everytin about you .. n i really looking forward for my future with my anak n you ..but why things just go so hard for mi ... just hoping for simply in everytin is seem just so hard ... why must everytin goin down ... what is loveee? what is love ?? more than half years with bf .. sumtyme i really dont what he really want .. i find it .. it getting more n more harder .. i really hate it why must our partner ...so like suka hati ... being selfish .. nvr try to think everytin wat we have do for them ...otak kat mana ni ?? kat mana ni ??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
knp guys??knp nak janji yet cant dooo...... dia pun cam gini u pun mcm gini ... ke krg ni nvr learn ke from ur past mistake ..... ? why ??? i want to in love with happiness .. n it not suffering ... why cant i just cant get those love ... i thou in love that is everyting ... you get love u get everytin ... if you nvr learn to do correction ... YOU WONT EvER had happiness forever ... you wanna to follow ur suka hati ... you will gain notin at all... love a women is just how you love your mum alsooo ....how you mum love n show u .. u must show it bk .. otak jgn nak pikir nak shortcut je... doenst mean i love you liao then you can take advantage on it ... no ..no .. our god is here to see what we do everytin ... im still trying hard to catch your mind .im still showing you the good .. sakit sakit pun biar laa... im someone can easy forgive people.. what you had do to mi n say to mi ...i forgive ... godd know ... tapi like i say i not those heartless person ...i know people alway do mistake ... but dont keep repeating the same old mistake ... if not for old you will oni suffer n nvr get any happiness.... i dont want to feel ashame again ... if reli my this relationship cant werk out ..cox i know i try .. n i learn .. im oni praying for the best ... fais if you say you love mi .. pls show mi .. pls change for the sake of our happiness ...

selfish not in my list

2011-02-08T18:49:00.001+08:00

On mc today .. Not well .. Whole day at home.. Just finish my dinner .. Kangkong Nasi.. Nice.. I know I'm gonna b happy .. I won't wan to cry or upset again for guys or whoever ... Just b my happy ownself ... Being selfish not in my list .. I gonna b most coolest person from now onwards .. I'm so sick n tired .. If I choose to b upset .. My story won't end ... So I choose to b happy .. What people advice mi .. I know all is good for mi ... Nw I will just c n walk another step .. I dont want to b hurt ... Sometyme I just feel so ashame .. Thou I got the best n everytin .. But im just too naive .. Nvm god got eye to c what we r doing.. How bad or watever I acept it .. What comes ard goes ard .. If you don't want that happiness .. Don't ever promise it .... Being human being is not being this way .. Not being selfish or showing ur bad ego.. Bad ego bring people hate u more n end up u won't get anytin ..... Jgn jadi org yg takda otak ! I'm cool .. No point .. Tok if people still wanna to think his own way .. If u nvr want to change end up u got notin at all ... Allah .. Allah .. Allah .. Show mi sometin to do n givenmi more strength ... Amin

:)

2011-02-05T06:12:00.001+08:00

First day new year play manjong win 56.. Skali sec day lose 120 .. Nb.. This year Chinese new year no good .. First 2 day dah gadoh .. Pe leh buat .. I'm sorry for buay my gfs for outing .. No mood .. I njoy my last night .. Thank :)

again ...

2011-01-31T02:23:00.001+08:00

In morning got a very bad headache .. Till I cry .. Serious very pain til I cry .. Sad:( .. Gadoh with bf .. Feel upset the way he react n tok .. Sumtyme I reli don't how to do n say again ... This year started I feel he"s not the fais that i with ... Alway show the good ego . Not the bad one .. Bad ego ONI will bring u to hell. I know no one is perfect but there alway try to b good n steady .. Alway think twice watever wanna to tok ... Jgn ikot kan suka hati ....nvr Use those hurtful words to ur love one.. Robort also will feel tired one day .... Ya Allah .. This is not the thing that I should get .. Pls help mi to find a way .. I don't wanna to feel malas atau upset ngn lelaki .. Pls show mi whose is good n bad to mi .. Pls show mi the path to go .. N let mi stay stronger ..AMIN

werkkkk

2011-01-29T00:54:00.001+08:00

Bf have been helping to send to skool since she started skool n after that send mi to Werk n then he go Werk ... Sumtyme I feel so swit .... If he nvr help up sure I late for Werk .. Somemore now need to do cleanin service at Werk for the sake of extra money ... Hai .. Singapore all is money .... Knp takde money plant exist?? So I can plant enuf2 for everytin... Haha.. Mepek ke mi ...just get advane 1000 from boss .. So I tin left not much on pay day ... Ishh ... This month Chinese new year .. Nid to ang bao .. Sian loo ... Today Werk til night .. Ape lagi Werk extra .. N got xtra money ... I had order my fav bag.. Hhaha... Anyway my buyer inform mi just now that I mayb can't get my red bags for new year .. Their shipping abit jam.... Hmm... Nvm la .... I can't wait to c my all bags .... Hahah... Gonna sleep .. Esok sat I'm werkin .. Bo bian nid to Werk xtra to get money ... Singapore everytin is money .... Nightt .. I'm sorry k if I make u feel tired in ape2 ... Thank you for ur help .. Hope we will alway stay happily :)

.

2011-01-23T05:11:00.001+08:00

Life is not that easy that you see .. Everyday have new thing to learn . What you see sumtyme it just not that way you think ... There still much2 more thing to learn ... I know that our gods loves us n won't let us to suffer .. Path is our own ... Choose wisly alway ... In life there alway not enuff .. But we just bershukur ape yg Kita ade . Hmm... Anyway just now mitup with fiza n th boy , cinder n the boy + mi n bf .. Chill at town , after that went kalaoko .. Have fun ... Let do it again k ... Tired Liao . Wan to sleep nyte :) Ya Allah .. Pls give mi more strength to atau stronger n show mi the right path to go .. Amin .

happy birthday my belover daughter shirin

2011-01-20T01:46:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to my belover daughter .. Flash bk wen the day she born... Hahha .. Sumhw is sweet la... Doin a BBQ party for her .. Hopefully she will be happy .. Hope that she will be a good girl n stay heathly alway.. I'm on leave today n tomorrow ..hahha...it seem like semua Nya tak kena... Tapi takpe I still choose to b happy... Sound funny that bf told mi tat today will be my most happy and sad day... Hmm .. I don't doa2 untuk sedih .. Pls go away ... I will alway stay happy as my ownself ...just now went west coast to buy brg2 for the BBQ .. With bf n sister .. Buy alot of staff ... Also pay alot of money ... Then after that go bk then go aunt place n makan dinner .. Nari i with bf camNot good term .. Wat he say n do tak kena . Wat i say n do also tak kena ... I just dont understand at All... Takpe Biar la... Ape nak jadi go ahead ...I try watever I can do .. I try my all best... want to go jb tapi last min tak jadi.dah la tok much also no use .... Diam kan diri better ... Dear god .. Pls give mi more strength n stay stronger ... I don't want to sad. I just want to have a simply happy life... Amin ...

ellysha so alive...

2011-01-17T00:19:00.001+08:00

Cik jo baby Boi is out ! So kecik lo .. Cute .. N wanna to wish fiza happy 28 bday .. Esok gonna plan wer to go .. Hopefully she will stay happily with her life alway .. 4 more day to go .. Celebrating shirin bday . Doin BBQ .. This month I save money for her .. Sweet kan .. Hopefully she enjoy her bday celebration ... Gonna order cake , satay , otak .. Then wednesday baru p beli the other food at giant ... 1 tin . Should I invite Jakpeng to my anak celebration? Coz I know he syg shirin alot .. I'm confuse .. Hmmm ..But .. Hmm.... Sometyme I don't know how to hanger my feeling .. Sometyme I feel tired lo .. I have been showin very cool .. I try to change ape yg tak baik ..knp I feel the more I give in the more cam ade2 ni ... Wat else should more to change .. Wen he know mi I'm this way already .. So now I need to change for the sake of my own good .. I just don't know wat so wrong loo .. No one is perfect .. I'm a women that can cook , jäge anak , take care of rumah that is very good Liao .. I proud that I can do this all by my Own Hand. N seriously I also don't need any men to help mi up . I know I can do it by myself .. Yaya I'm weak kind... But for the sake of my daughter I alway stat stronge .. No point being upset . Wasting of tyme .. BUAT BODOH n stay Diam better .. Then will no gadoh2 this n that ... Don't take tin for granted is the best .. Walapun I'm tired I still keep tryin n hope for the best ... Allah love us .. Allah won't let us suffer .. Biar Kita sabar alot ... N I don't bear to delete my blog .. Is so much memories .. Doesn't everytin tin I must listen to him .. You have yr own thinking . N I also have mine... Nvm I'm cool .. Remember Im ellysha .. Ellysha so aliveeeee!!!!!!! :) nyte

..

2011-01-08T21:33:00.001+08:00

Eat more fruit n drink more wata k . get well soon .. Take good take care k :) Knp camMalas eh .... Hmphhh

:)

2011-01-06T10:04:00.001+08:00

Get well soon...

nother years jusr pass so fast

2010-12-31T18:25:00.001+08:00

Few hours going 2011.. Everytin pass so fast .. Life been hard ... Hopefully this 2011 will bring mi more good tin .. Everytin will go smooth n easy .. N also hope that u will alway stay happily. Take good care of ur Health . Hopefully everytin go smooth for you too ... I want to be more happily for the year 2011! God bless mi ... Gf that I love .. All the best for u all .. Wil always misses n loves you girls! Muackkk?!

happy

2010-12-28T18:16:00.001+08:00

I was so shock for his appearing.. Shila also feel shock .. It been sometyme since the last we meet... I got 1 kind of feeling , but I don't noe how to say it out .. But nvm ... Ownself know will do... Happy mode:). Ellysha feel so alive :)

oh my .....

2010-12-27T17:58:00.001+08:00

Yesterday went to fais cousin weddin with the family member ... Sampai makan take picture .. Out of suddenly fais father say . ( bila krg nak kahwin). I'm was jam .. N the father say ( I'm serious) . Totally blank in mind .. Feel abit funny pun ade... I don't know why rasa cam scare ... Hw? Hmm....... Mood: blur2 ....

jgn merepek! pls

2010-12-25T01:53:00.001+08:00

Sometyme just don't understand at all .. I feel sick n tired.. WAt the fuck bothering mi !! Feeling so piss ... Knp feel like cam tak kena je.. Cakap Kawin mmg sound so eAsy ... Tapi.. Nvm .. I don't wan to choose wrong path again ... Must tin carefully ... Sometyme is just so hard to tink .. Mcm2 Hal ...hard to understand ? Then forget it .. By talking n talking n make my blood boil .. So b happy .. Takmo nak complain by saying I change or else .... Like I told u do eat u r happy .. Remember alway live ur today better then tomorrow .. Wakeup is a new story again . I will still Kip pushin myself to b stronge .. Not the weak gal you see the baru .. I alway believe tin happen with reason ... But S . M . I . Coz I will still choose to stay happy even anytin happen .. For the sake of my daughter ... Haha ... 1 more week to go .......countdown .. Missing the past n the enjoy for the party ..hee . oh ya merry Christmas :)

CARAMEL BAND-tinggal kenangan(acoustic version)

2010-12-23T18:47:00.000+08:00

2010-12-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

last sunday GADOH with BF very rabak! im sorry for being selfish . n rude to you .. but bf still want to tok tin out with mi... tank for being patient for mi this 6month plus..after all ..Bf say to mi . DONT be suprise soon..n then he say Yang kita kawin ar, kita buat kecik2 pun ok ... i want you to be my wife.. i want take care the rest of my life .. you are my semut putih ..my princess..my comel .. my bulan..you are only mine N im oni urs.. let built a small happy family..He alway respect mi as a women.. he say the most important of mi is respect him as a men...im sorry ...N im was shock n happy too...i really wanna to have a happy family been so long tymes ..macam tak sabar.. wanna to have a small family , give shirin the best n a small warm house..last is .. he say wen im ready pls tell him COZ he want to teach mi praying staff n else......but out of suddenly i dont noe what in mind .. i start to feel scare again ..but i serious dont know now.. im confuse in heart .. this point of tyme wat should i really do ? i just cant think anytin now ..;(

ya allah . kuat kan la iman ku .. AMIN.

2010-11-16T20:04:00.003+08:00

we fight .. because bf saw the picture in my wallet..the picture with mi it been 2 year plus... i feel so hard wanna to take out the pic from my pic.. bf started to b more n more sensitive..sumtin that i dont wanna to see n hear from him is out..sedia seh .. there just so much question in my minds .. early on when im with him he not this way..he's a very cool person .. but now he changed to be so sensitive.. i keep wonder n wonder n wonder why ... why cant just have a simply relationship without forcing n everytin go very smoothy ... or is this a test for mi again .. i wanna to settle down n give shirin a good family..i wan to have a small happy family !why is just so hard.. why must all my relationship go so suckk .. im not happy .. im not happy .. i already try my very very best to forget about him n not to tink abt my past ... and concenrate on bf.. but why cant he feel... why must he keep repeatin that i miss him .. i miss him .. setiap kali cakap ape2 pun is a doa seh ... takpe la... what i do all A class hati.. nvr wanna to fool or watever .. all i do is sincere.. i dont lie !n i wont lie! all i tell is true... now the only tin is i will try to do watever he say .. ni wan to see wat the outcome .. if cant .. i tin the best is let go .. no point wanna to force .. there wont b happiness that all.. walau pun is unfair to mi ... i will still stay stronge for the sake or my anak .. no man no die... i belive without mens also women can live happily too... ya allah kuat kan iman mi ... make mi feel stronger n show the path .. AMIN

=(

2010-11-15T22:15:00.002+08:00

i not happy .. im not happy=(

:)

2010-10-12T18:01:00.001+08:00

I actually really wish to celebrate with you.. But ...but.. If oni u call mi n ask mi out.. I confirm say yes to celebrate a good wonderful nyte:) .. Well .. I tin I tok anyhw Liao .. Enjoy n b happy k :)

happy birthday B

2010-10-12T17:57:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to you . May all ur wishes n dream will cum true... Actuli tot of miting up with you. tapi I tin nari sure u will b busy... Hope u stAy happy alway.. n everytin wil go smooth for you.. Laat night I had a dream abt u .. on ur bday...lol.. Everytin I dream ONI dream.. so it ok,. still missing everytin abt u..I still trying hard to forget abt him...

sorry

2010-10-04T22:59:00.001+08:00

I don't noe hw should I react .. Things happen..I wan tyme break .. I told him go think abt it.. R we suit to b 2gether.. I know he have sabar with mi alot .. But I still trying hard to Kip goin .. I just nid more tyme .... But he lose control .. He told mi sampai bila I want to bayang2 n emo lagi.. Somehw he new to mi , I don't trust him at all .. I really don't Noe wat am I doing ... Everytin It just so messed up .. I'm sorry I wan to b alone nw .. Give mi sum space.. I just hate people lie.. Kalau lie mi dah malas .. Do pandai2 la ... I know I stronge .. I gonna fuck care everytin .. Werk n anak cum first.. Don't make mi feel stress! I have enuf tau.. Ya Allah tolong la kuat iman ku . AMIN. Anyway hope everytin will go smooth for you .. Remember stay stronge n happy alway k ..like I say u will in my little heart alway:)But I'm still trying to forget everytin abt u..

.

2010-10-03T04:17:00.001+08:00

I miss you :(

:)

2010-10-01T01:14:00.001+08:00

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd walk through a garden forever.

stronger

2010-10-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

I know I'm stronge to face it .. 1 day sure will meet.. Being 3 month last I saw him .. I saw him .. My heart was so "@&$?!';/.He change alot ..whatever it is I still wish him all the best for everytin..hope everytin also will go smooth .. Ya Allah kuat kan iman dia. AMIN . I'm just sorry to you fais .. U still trying to cheer mi up all while.. Sumtyme I just don't mean to say those past.. I hope u also can gave mi sumtyme ... To let go it.. I'm still trying hard.give mi sumtyme. I know I'm stronge enuf ! Good nyte :)

get well ellysha

2010-09-23T01:16:00.001+08:00

Inhaler really help .. Feel better .. Won't feel tat breathless .. But I don't wanna to depend on inhaler .. Wish to get well soon .. 2moro Werk.. Hope everytin go smooth ...

:(

2010-09-22T02:04:00.001+08:00

I'm sick for goin 1 week. Mc 2day.. Gonna rest.. Sick make mi feel emo... Missing him even more... Still can't help... Still learning to forget him .. Matter of tyme .. I still doa2 kan dia .. Hope he will alway b happy n safe..ya Allah kuat kan dia , don't let him do stupid tin... Amin .

..

2010-09-08T14:21:00.001+08:00

The Sun is some where shining even when it rains.

Marc Anthony My Baby You

2010-09-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

Rossa - Tak 'kan Berpaling Dari-Mu (HQ Audio/Video)

2010-09-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

try

2010-09-04T03:12:00.001+08:00

Do sometin wrg.. Luckily no eply from him.. If not mesti ade crita.. Thank u for not replying .. Ok la nyte.. I'm stil missin you.. Still learning to forget abt everytin abt u n mi....

y

2010-09-03T00:04:00.001+08:00

Hw I wish I can b real happy .. But I know I'm lying to myself .. Can't help but is I miss you .. It true I have no suffer at all with him nw but I will nvr know wen will start .. Start to b confusing again .. Ya Allah tolong la kuat kan iman ku . Amin. Things happen.. My 3 years hamster just pass away .. Feelin upset .. Hope hamsterdem stay peace in his grave.. :( no mood at all .. Y must alway upset thing cum over.. Bile Akan habis ni semua .... Tak faham ar . Knp .. Haizz .. Nak b happy mesti ade je ... Somehw I know he hate do much .. Gd .. Continue hate so u can move on .. I will stay walau pun mcm mana ... I wil still try to appreciate people who treat mi right .. I still missing all abt you.. :( ..........

Agnes Monica - Matahariku (High Quality - Better Audio)

2010-09-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

no moree

2010-08-30T00:17:00.001+08:00

I won't miss you anymore. Tc of urself well ..

.....

2010-08-29T03:55:00.001+08:00

Even Saturday was enjoy with fren n kidz.. But I still miss...

:(

2010-08-28T22:12:00.001+08:00

Star light, star bright,Upon the brightest star on the sky tonight,I made a wish.Please take all my feelings and emotions away,I don't want to feel something so painful call Love ever again..

bullshit la aku ..

2010-08-26T12:02:00.001+08:00

It's true that you cant move on until you let go but how do you let go when you love someone this much... when everything you do reminds you of him...

forget it ...biar la juah di mata ,dkt di hati ....

2010-08-25T19:37:00.001+08:00

People won't ever tin of the good youhad done .. ONI will tin hw bad u had done! .ellysha !wakeup.. Trust no1 .. So far my belover anak ngn fais is the best!

misses

2010-08-25T19:26:00.001+08:00

Been not well since last weekend .. Having bad headache.. Doctor say my headache due with my stress .. He ask mi is better do sonetin abt it .. If not wil b serious shit .. I just dont noe hw to handle it .. Even I had already make the choice .. But I just don't y .. I'm still feelin So confuse ..fren told mi everytin is still fresh .. It's nid to take sometyme to heal dwn .. But I still miss you .. U r just the tattoo alway stay at my heart .. Tin he been happy for all .. I reli happy for him too ..whatever it Is no1 will ever understand what I tin n wat is in my heart .. Biar la aku yg cam sial .. Tak pasal .. Tuhan ade Mata can see ... N Today had done my third session laser .. Is painful nw .. Hopefully by this year can clear off ..,.,,... I have a fruit wars today is aweful .... Rindu :)

Firehouse - Here For You

2010-08-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

2010-08-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

I'm not happy at all ... I still dunoe wat I really want . I feel so bad whenever I hurt anyone..but who know deep inside my heart no1 know hw I feel ?people only see the frontward .. But not the backward.deep in my heart I ONI can say sorry.. I feeling useless ..! I'm useless .. :(. Ya Allah kuat iman ku la... Amin.. :(

:(

2010-08-14T04:56:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry ...

..............

2010-08-11T00:32:00.003+08:00

in the morning.. when wanna to go werk then start raining ... took cab to werk .. but im still wet .. werking with shila today .. was very busy .. n i was no mood at werk .. all the way mcm nak marah jee... wat goin wrg mi pun tak tahu...i just feel so no mood again .. i dun understand ... why ? why ? n why ?? i feel like everytin is messin up nowww... i dunoe wat should i do ... i must b strong .. i must b stronge... n ellysha lim will be strongerr... im tired with sadness all overr.. i wan to b happy .. i dunoe want to sad .. i dun wan .. life is just full of bullshit .. i feel so useless alway .. now my head is feelin sometin bothering mi seh .. why ?ape tu yg at my otak nii!!!argghh...... fark laaa!!! ya 2moro i will be taking half day .. in the noon need to follow mum to hospital .hopefully everytin will go smooth... hope no more operation ..no more pain n suffer for motherr... just now went to makan with him , bacin,hairul n the mum .. at aiman ... i just dunoe why when i rch there i feel soo 1 kind lo.. i also dunoe y seh ..i miss my last year so much=) n.. i dunoe wat to say ...
tin wanna to go sleep now ..

ya allah , tolong la kuat kan iman ku . AMIN.

misses n huGXx

Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey LYRICS

2010-08-10T19:52:00.000+08:00

:)

2010-08-10T00:18:00.001+08:00

Today . Public holiday .. Im werking.. Xtra paid ma.. Was very busy today... At lunch tyme I was sleeping in the clinic along ... After Werk went bk home.. No one ar home.. I wash up n go sleep... Wake up at 9plus.. He came over fetch mi n go makan .... Haha .. I dpt eat my dengdeng ... Have our dinner for maggie goreng with ayam .. Bestt .... Fasting month start Liao.. Hope can fasting all the way .. Hee..somehw just miss the last year fasting month... :) I'm omw hm nw .. Balik nak sleep la.. Nyte ..

i enjoy bth of my weekend =)

2010-08-09T01:25:00.004+08:00

saturday , sumtin make mi feel dissapointed .. but nvm .. forget abt itt.. just go forward but not backward.. saturday night when clubbing with him n his frens.. celebate POLAr BDAY..N this is the first tyme i saw most of their member2 .. ramai pee..the place is totally mcm ours siak .. HAHAHA..i drink lot siak ... n i mabok la siaakk .. walk also not betol2 ..haha .. luckily got them to take care of mi .. xpecially FAIS.. tank SAYANG..one words i can say is DRG GILER la... open bottle mcm water siakk... i tin there more then 10 bottleee... ish.ish ..really enjoy... it been so long nvr drink this much n get high n mabok .. HAHHAA...reach home at 6am sioll...so bath then go sleep ..

sunday morning.. he n his budak2 ade pinic kat ECP ,so wake up at 10plus in the morning go breakfast .. we have prata ...... then then when back bath n siap ... at 12plus follow him go AMK to collect 80 packet nasi lemak .... for the pinic .., then go to yishun n fetch his daughter ..n then go to ECP to mit their fren ... enjoy there with the fren, n the kidd... i tin this is call family pinic... all with their wife n kidd.. heee.. we bth dah mcm a small little family .. heee... the daughter call mi umi .. heee... swit kan .. the daughter n my anak can reli get along very well .. so far still so good... they bth is small little brownies laaa... hehee..kakak n adekk.. cute pee.. heee... actuli they ajak us to tagg along to azura today .. but we bth say no.. cox we want to bring the kid go jalan2 n makan ... so after that we went to marina .. somtyme very nice n i like alot n laugh alot is ... mi,shirin , him n his anak in the car we dance n shake our body .. i tin it been sumtyme that i nvr really laugh til my stomach pain n laugh til i cant breath ...lol.. it really sweet seh .. really love this moment...N have our dinner there.. LONG JOHN SLIVER... best ... the anak same as mi like to eat the sweet corn .. heee... so after that jalan2 .. n we walk to xplanet ..n walk to merlion ..n make mi remind of sumtin there ...but i know im stronge ... so fark itt....N they bth r very adoreablee.. love them laaa...the bth mouth REALLY like macik kpo siakk ... HAHAHHAA...actually tot let his anak sleep over my place tapi ..esok im werking ..so no one tak care .. so just send her bk home jee...she like to eat durian too .. hehe.. this cuming wednesday we goin for that ... honey you wait okay .. hehe... now im so tired ... im goin to bed ... nyteee..=)
i start to love my life now ..is so like the small little family .. hehe ..i like ..i suka laaa// HAHHAA...

nyteeee=)

ya allah ,tolong kuat kan iman ku ...AMIN.

misses n hugg ..
BROWNIESS=)

:(

2010-08-01T04:30:00.001+08:00

Today I feel upset so much ... Upset... Very upset .. Ya Allah kat kan iman ku . AMIN

.

2010-07-29T01:33:00.001+08:00

Today late for Werk n nvr got to send brother to skool .. So send him to aunt place.. Fais send mi to Werk .. Today mi n my the other gal bth late.. But luckily boss came in late. So at 11 plus , fais cum over ajak smoke break .. Lol .. Buy chocolate cookies blended.. Nice.. I like..I Suka la.. Lunch tyme eat. Ayam ONI.. At noon tyme Ida buy mi 3mini egg tarts. Si cute la.. I ate 2 ONI.. 4.30 sharp fais cum to fetch mi.. Teman him send order.. Then ge send mi to fetch my anak n Abg hm.. Then he went bk to Werk.. MIT him at 10plus so go eat at west coast park .. Eat Liao then chill over there.. After that went to mitup aseng n polar go eat again.. I nvr reli eat la.. Not mood .. I'm updating inside the car.. Otw hm.. He say pls alway b happy. N I know ellysha is stronge .. Will overcum all .. Dear god pls give mi the strength to stay stronger Amin. Good nyte.

y

2010-07-28T01:28:00.001+08:00

Today morning , he send me to Werk .. Then he go to Werk.. Today was so busy like tat lo... At 10plus went to buy basis lemak... 11plus ten got to eat... I like the ayam goreng ... So nice.. I Suka la.. In the lunch tyme I sleep... Today end Werk ar 5 plus.. So after tat go fetch my baby... Then go home.. So suprise that my sis is at home. haha ... Mum buy dinner for us.. But I nvr eat much .. No mood leh .. There is sumtin bothering mi ... N I can only say sorry for what u done.. I tin that the best way oni I can forget the past .. N look forward ... In deep inside no1 will ever know n understanding wat all abt mi... Day pass I alway try to b stronge n wanted to forget abt it.. But y alway poke out him ... Wen I'm upset why my closer gf wasn't here fir mi .. But only Fais the one who alway b there for mi...I should appreciate people who treat mi gd .. Restart a new life again... I know there is so much tin I can't bear to put dwn ... But I must be stronge n face everytin ... I know 1 fine day I sure will overcome all this... Let tyme heal for mi ... Sometime I just feel I'm lying to my ownself ... Y must I so stupid ..... Am really dumb ... Dear god pls give mi the strength to stay stronger. Amin . Watever at night mitup with fais ... Mitup few bukit batok fren .. N chill then went bk home... Fais I really appreciate for wat u had do for mi...since the day I'm heart broken til nw u still here for mi... Tank ... I will listen to u ... I will stay stronger n be happy alway ... Tank you ...

.

2010-07-27T23:26:00.001+08:00

True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.

..

2010-07-24T19:21:00.001+08:00

Let him go ....

tq fais

2010-07-24T02:38:00.001+08:00

Forget the past n restart all over again .. Thank you Fais :)

2010-07-18T13:01:00.002+08:00

mother got her chest x-ray result .. remark is not good..so last night i bring the report to my clinic .. ask the doctor to xplain .. is not really good result .. there sumtin inside the chest .. haiz... n the doctor say must do the ct scan to comfirm wat is inside.. oh .. i start to get worry .. i dun wan my mother to suffer all the pain again ... dear god.. pls la selamat kan dia .. hope everytin will be fineee...=(
after the clinic when to town with fais .. n meet up with his adek n the gf .. lepak .. n then we go to jb ..reach inside is raining .. wet sey ... but nvm i get my bublle gum ,rokok n toy story3.. is good enuf .. HAHAHa..after that he sent mi bk to change
n when to meet budak bukit batok (childhood)fren at mac... makan then jalan for awhile then go bk home... the sleepp....

=(

2010-07-17T21:56:00.003+08:00

i just dun understand, why just walk away from a painful situation . even through we know it will eventually pass.even if we cant go back and change the past , but at least we're still breathing, Our life still belongs to us.the only thing we only look after ,is our own heart .

KID-TEUNG-TUR-LURAH-GURN...

2010-06-29T22:15:00.002+08:00

yesterday go dinner with fais at mac jack ..nice.. pasal free,,HAHAHHAHAA. n last min when to johor ,at last my passport got to chop .. ?HAHAH..but there is totally suck ... no good... people there .. very the diaooo...got to smoke dunhill red .. besttt ... HAHAH.. but forget to buy bubble gums... boooo.....after being single i start to b busybody liao .. but sumhw i still need to stay stronge.. to stay happy alway ..
=(

2010-06-23T21:57:00.003+08:00

Today late for werk ..ALL tank to faris..

at werk feeling so moody . no mood at all .. somemore got head pain n stomach pain ..had lunch at jurong point with shila n fais..then go bk to werk .. after werk go bk ..rch hm at 5plus ..mit up with fais then go amy house..they order kfc ..but i nvr eat ..then lepak there till 7plus then went home .. then rest for awhile .. my belover anak nak makan mac ..so bring her dwn n buy .. i just eat maggie siakk .. haha !! cox want to save money laaa...BORING SIAK .... so the no mood at all,dont know wat wrong with mi. ;(

2010-06-22T15:55:00.003+08:00

tyme pass really fast .. it been few month nvr update my blogg.. tin will start bk to blog again .. i no longer with jakpeng anymore we broke on 15jun2010...3years with him ..i have been trying b patient with him .. but i know is we alway fight cox of small issue... alway fight same n same issue .. sadness is more then happy..im feelin so tired this tyme... now i tin i just sum tyme to cool dwn for myself.. to b happy ... life is been tough for mi .. alot of tin nid to settle alot of tin to think .. i really wish i can really overcome everytin for wat had happen .. but y my life is so like tat ... wat cant i just like sum other people out theree ... no worry in everytin .. n stay happy n enjoy every movement with the love one ..but mi ? cant at all ... i miss those being manje tyme .. but y ?
3years in a relationship , i do like a mother n wife job for him .. n when he angry ,he can b ego N he can say those so dame hurtful words to mi .. is not 1 or 2 tymee.. his words (u r a easy girl)... hw u feelll? mmg sedih .. but i nid to force to b stronge .. dont care anymoree.. ape jadi then jadi laaa... i have enuff for all ... i need a break now ..yesterday night he just pack his tin .. n he no longer stay with mi .. he have his own life now n mi also have my own life now...i will try to face it even it hard ... i belive everytin is just matter of tyme ..biar aku yg sial ..i dun nid to people kecian mi for all ...ape2 org nak cakap pasal aku ..cakap laa.. i cant b bother anymore... i will choose to stay happy n b strongerr...
love is blind

last . for you FARIS ..tank for being there for mi ..=)

Dear god ,please give me the strength to stay stronger.AMIN

2010-04-15T08:41:00.001+08:00

yesterday night wen to prawning fishing with one of my old fren .. yg he wanna to mit mi for since 2 year plus ago .. he pick mi up at 8plus... but he ask mi a supper funny question... wat is my postal code... hahaha... bukan nak ask address tau .. hahs! oh ya we prawning fishing at taman jurong .. reach there abt 8plus .. OMG i got to catch 3 prawn oni .. n 1 of the prawn i catch very kecik ... HAHAA..finish at 12am .. so after that went to chill but inside the car at under my blk ..lol..the radio station 95 song remind mi bk sumtin .. n make mi feel so emo infront of my fren ..WTF! i cry siaaa..i cry siaaa... wat i can say is tank for all my fren=).. awhile then he send mi bk home .. i wondering sia... how will you feel n do ? when ur bf leave u ,an wen u ask him wat r we now ? nw he oni say dunoee... wat does he mean ?and after went slient for 1 week..it show wat ? n wat will you tell people abt ur status? people ask mi am i attached? i reply .. yes i have bf ,but bf leave mi have leave mi 1 week . is tat wrong ??
fuck la .. why am i toking abt thisss... HAHAHAA.. ok laa... gtg .. will update soon ..

ya allah!pls give more strength to stay more strongerrr. amin

2010-04-13T13:39:00.003+08:00

yesterday sila cum over my place afternoon ..so teman mi send shirin to skool ..then went to westmall mitup my aunt .. chill n walk2 with them then went bk home..then clean up abit .. then in evening tyme shila went bk to afad place.kecian dia she also having sum problem with the family ... i pray for her the best ..=) so at 4.45pm went to pick shirin bk from skool ...then biasa la ..i called the skool driver ...u know wat ? the driver told mi my bro already get dwn from the van in 15min ...WTF siak... the driver nvr inform the tyme have change sia... so ape lagi go fin my bro loo..then bring him bkkk... let them eat their dinnerrr....
at 8plus mitup with sumone..i shall not mention the name .. but tank alot for ur merapek n and make mi smile once again =) haha..oh ya tank for the mini small cake .(lol)..after that went bk hm at 11plus.. then start to have this bad headache .. i dun why ..my head inside sumtin like up n dwn ,heavy then go light.. i dunoeee....then i just put oil to my head lo...then after that try to sleep but cant ..so play wiwawa till 3.30am then i feel tired ..ishkk...
just now wake up at 7.40am .. to send my bro to skool .. the skool driver change liao loo... so now my bro bus cum at 8.05am to 8.10am .. cum bk also early abit liao loo... but this tyme i nid to rush ..cox my anak finish skool at 5pm ..n my bro skoolbus cum at 4.55pm to 5pm ... siao liao laaaaa... HAHAHHAA...nvm ... later goin to take them so now i thinkin how siakk .. i still feelin headache ar... wat happen siaa.. hope myself will get well soon ...

ya allah ..PLS GIVE ME MORE STRENGTH TO STAY STRONGER . amin

2010-04-13T09:07:00.002+08:00

Bintang di langit
Kerlip engkau di sana
Memberi cahayanya di setiap insan
Malam yang dingin
Kuharap engkau datang
Memberi kerinduan di sela mimpi - mimpinya

Melangkah sendiri di tengah gelap malam
Hanya untuk mencuri jatuh sinaran
Tak terasa sang waktu
Melewati hidupnya
Tanda pagi menjelang
Mengganti malam

Oh bintang tetaplah... pastikan cahyanya
Sinari langkahku setiap saat
Bintang pun tersenyum... dengarkan pintaku
Berikan kecupan di sudut tidurnya

2010-04-12T09:51:00.003+08:00

send brother to skool .. cook breakfast for my anak .. now surfing net ... gettin bored soon ..so bloggin now .. SHila n afad !anyway tank for the last thursday n friday nyte for the accmpy ... sat n sun i stay at home ,so so sorry for the cancel plan frenz..all the way im playing gamee ... n now im startin to get bored ... but i still nid to continue to pass my tyme easily ..2 nyte im sleepin alone in big bed.. i scare but got to b strong to face the tin now n the future .. i dunoe wat is gonna happen next too .. so pray hard nw hopefully everytin will go smooth for mi ..
i take my bear from my bed on top n saw the pillow of the word that he writen... i recall all the word that tell to mi ,cant help but think of the tyme i had it with him 2year plus.c picture n memories make mi feel upset ....im lonely ,im tired ,im missing him again OH NO! YA ALLAH!! PLEASE GIVE MI THE STRENGTH TO STAY STRONGER . AMIN

2010-03-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

do breakfast for him in the morning ...n mum ask mi to follow her to ica building,but im was so lazy ... so she bring along baopei to ica building..i stay at hm .awhile later go sleep again .afternoon got eat lunch with mum n baopei ..my mum blanja .. haha.. after that went bk hm .notin to do so surf net .n i chat with becky .. lol..she doin good ..mi too.. funny part is she say she have been miss mi n jakpeng .. i was abit ..? n i just reply her a smile face;).. i told jakpeng abt it , he told mi sound funny ..i dunoe y she say that also .. but nvm .. buat bodoh jeee kan .. hmm.. so after awhile my sister n cousin hubi came over. n went over to my cousin place.. cox ask help for my cousin to do my resume .. stupid siak mi .. dun noe how to do ..lol...

anyway i dunoe wat happen to sum people la .. like trying to show sum small action siak .. i nvr do anytin wrong to anyone pun ..people know mi well enuf..they will know wat kind of person am i .. so wat people wanna to do carry on .. i dun wanna 2 bother anymoree.. but this tin make mi feel upset abit sia .. i cant do anytin pun .. so takmo layan lagi bagos sia.. i dunoe sia there sumtin kip bothering mi sia in my mind... i dun feel good at all .. i dunoe wat my mind is thinking alssooo... feel sumtin not right siaaa... i hate this kind of feeling siaa... i dunoe how to plan for my futuree.. i dunoe wat to do pun ... everytin pun i dunoe sia .. mcm mana ni .. cam useless eh ..worst tin is i dunoe wat i want in my life siaaa..sob..sob..
N sumtyme i feel that my bf was so close to mi , n sumtyme he is so far from mi siaa.. i just wan to feel secure from u.. everyday u with mi ,doesnt mean all.. i dunoe wat to do n do anymore siaa.. i had try the best to understand u .. sumtyme i can feel love from u ..but sumtyme totally dun have it at all .. haiyoo... i dunoe wat wrong with mi laaaaaaa... feeling so emo sia...
i feel wanna to go night safari,i feel like goin camping -in the night can listen to the sound of th sea while im watching those star from the sky ,i feel like goin to fishfarm , i feel like kite flying.. there still so much tin im wanna to do ..tapi selalu tak dpt sia.. nvm laaa.. i just wait for the right tyme to go je laaa..

N i tin i slim dwn abit liao loo.. i tin so laaa.. haha .. good also ar..
n im just so sorry that wat cousin n the hubi talk to mi , i just cant get in my mind..like wat i say to them .. everytin i alway say dunoeeeee, useless brain la mi .. ...

good night fren =)

dun wan to care anymoreeee

2010-02-20T23:05:00.004+08:00

wanna to manje with own bf is it wrong ? wanna to kiss own BF is it wrong .. why must he giving mi that face CAN?... when the tyme wanna to b back with mi ... kiss mi all over CAN.. but year pass... everytin change CAN?... jus wanna to have this love, pampered and being appreciated. Is it very demanding? been toking to him day,month,year,sec,min n hour ... but he still cant change at all .. i know he have being angry with mi cox im goin out with my x husband for 2 tyme.. is it very wrong?since he cant make mi feel im sumone he reli wanna .. but y wenever i acpet sumtin from him but other will do to mi ..when he wanna sumtin then he will manje at mi ...this is a normal relationship ke? 2 years liao .. all he know is just say so n so ..he kind of person just wan mi to listen to him .. do watever he say ..he dun like mi mix i try stop .. he dun like mi go out 2 person with afad i also stop .. wat the fuck he not enuf anymore siakk ... sumtyme i reli tin why must i suffering all this .. n in the end of the tyme everytin i do izit worth it? i just want love,pampered,being with mi all while , give mi tention ,n appreciated mi tat all... izit very demandin keeee?????!!last week he told he he dun like mi to be LOUD.but wen wana to get bk with mi the tyme he told mi i dun care u loud or wat cox i love u ... my long tyme relationship nvr this way b4 ...i feel upset sia .. knp eh .. knp eh .. n i know he nvr alway mitup with his fren ... stay at home .. even he at hm ,but he alway just know do his own tin more... i nvr say his baddd... his attitude tuu ..last few day i ask him what he wan from mi he told mi a normal relationship.i say ok . watever it is i just hope he wont make mi feel ade pun cam takde ... n true is i live for my daughter i must stay strong..
i wont qwant to like SS anymore with my OWn BF .. no use,, so biar kan .. i wont care all anymoreee... this tyme i reli mean .. i wont wan to keja him .. he wan he cum itselfff...im tiredd... SERIOUS sHIT PUNYA.

Dear God, pls give mi the strength to stay stronger . amin

2010-02-12T11:30:00.000+08:00

no matter anymoreee =)

2010-01-14T22:45:00.002+08:00

sometyme just blame myself why am i havin this kind of life nowww.. so much shit to go thru .. everytin is just so unfair .. why just cant everytin go smooth for mi ?why ? or i should just admit this is my lifeee.. i should acept itt ..until now i still cant even find sumone who can really understandin even bf or gfs.. i feelin so sick n tired .. im tired laaaa.... tired nak mampos looo... every night b4 wanna to sleep ... i feel upset n i cry but without sound off..i dunwan my family know it ..i alway ask myself what should i do for my future ... in life n relationship is full of shittttt.... why must i have those stupid feeling ..why ? for now i also really dunoe wat kind of relationship im having now .. should i be happy or sad... too much tin i n him just cant get along .. tyme passes i feel that he not really that guy that actully i want ... i really dunoe wat should i do sia.. with him i just cant feel those sparks ... in relationship if there no sparks it wont really work .. i alway wish every night i sleep .. i will still get those manje ,those hugg, those joke,those kiss,those feeling is so warm .. till now i cant feel from him.. but just yesterday happen ... while im closin my eye .. he pull mi so hard to sleep at his chest n kiss at my forehead .. i tin it been so long he nvr do that to mi ... the longer we together it seem like our words goin lesses..n i tin everytin also goin lesses... i really dunoe what should i do ... i have been so obey to him ..listen to him watever he say .. do for him n this ... but did he ever really tin of it or not ... i dunoe la wat should i do sia... haizz... i feel so so useless la...=(

JUST SUCK..

2010-01-06T00:39:00.003+08:00

anw ..my sister goin to get marry soon .. n she will be moving over to her future husband housee.. i tin home will b sient mayb... without her kaopei ..lol.. walau macam mana pun still my own blood sister .. i just cant imagine after she leave ..my house will becum hw ... lol.. i reli wish to have a simply lifestyle sia.. have a proper family n my small litte happy family on my own.. i with jakpeng goin for 2 year . it seem like there still alot of tin we dun suit at all.. n we dun even know each other well.. we often hurt each other.. is it wat the love story goes? n reli true tat .. nvr get a love life this b4... trying be good n try to listen to him .. but cant c his appreciate at all sia.. i know he have been supportin mi for this 1 year ..n i give him place to stay ..even my family also give him those family warm wat.. ape lagi yg not enuf eh ... but he should alway tin twice watever he say mi wattt... sumtyme his words is just too hash .. lagi pun im sumone who is so called bunga.. what should i reli do siaaa.. like just nowww .out of suddenly he told mi he cant wait to get his own house n just stay with the brother oni... so this 1 year he have been staying my house is wat sia.. i feel kecik hati siaa.. ni macam make mi feel regret SIAK FOR LETTIN HIM HAVE A WARM PLACE TO STAY ... TAKDE MAKNE LAAA! :(after he say that .n i was just diam jeee.. this is not first tyme he say .. we gadoh . more then 3 tyme he pm at his facebook ,looking rent houseee la this n tat laa.... n even he put his pm at facebook that i wanna to go out with my guy fren for dinner n movie ..so called date laaa... tell mi la ..wat his fren will tok abt mi .. n even can tell the fren that i go out with people dia tak kena la ..ape la ni laaa... tapi when im so good to him n sabar him kenapa dia tak nak bilang siaaa... is just like so unfair siaaa... tin that i do good he wont try to tell the fren ..tapi kalau bad tin ... wow... so much siakkk ... why must he make mi feel so takda makne sia... i treasure sia this all while im with him .. but did he show mi tat ? there still lot of tin ... but i tin i should stop arrr... he wont ever appreciate! this is wat i can sayyyy... having a relationship with him is sooooooooo ********...i will sabarr...let c this tyme i can tahan til wen .... i swearrr to the goddd... if we will breakup again ..i wont ever get bk with him ... cox everytin still will go bk to the same ... HIS a FREAK!MONSTER!!!

anyway i have no idea should i werk with my fren kat azzura or not siaaa... waitress atau barmaid ... n jakpeng dun let me to werk at pubbb... he say werk at pub is haram .. entah laaaa.... i reli dunoe arrrr... i relii nid to have a good tin wat should i reli do now n the futureeeeeeeeeee........

I HAVE LEARN MY LESSON FOR LOVE LIFEEEE....I SHOULD TIN VERY CAREFULLY...
HOPE FREN WILL STILL BE AROUND MI N SUPPORT MI WEN IM DWWNN ... I MUST START TO LEARN TO BE COLD BLOODED!!!!

;(

2009-12-31T01:12:00.001+08:00

"Love has its own time, its own season, its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coax it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you

2009-12-29T23:10:00.001+08:00

2 more day to goooo..... SENTOSA!yesssss

hehee... cant wait siakkkk

theonly my sweetheart

2009-12-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

double o nyteee

2009-12-28T15:33:00.001+08:00

=(

2009-12-18T00:45:00.002+08:00

today nvr wake up to do his breakfast.. too tired i tin .. sori ten ..
today wakeup late afternoon ..all the way at hm ..evening tyme went dinner with family memeber without him ..biasa la kalau out from my blk he wont go .. so use to it already ..actuli fren ask mi go double o 2nyte .. but i know he wont wan mi to go so im sory fren.. after dinner reach hm at 11plus..biasa .. he sleepin soon .. everyday is the same .. so i just make myself b the same everyday .. anw i tin i try to change like the pass i use to treat him . cook for him breakfast alway ..this n that .. i try .. dun fight with him .. i kip my mouth shut.. better way .. y must kip having those jealous feeling toward people ard mi leh .. y ?hmm.. sumhw i alway feel so useless in myself .. y? alway i tell myself i must b strong .. but end up i still cant .. i just nid those support is that hard? i dun understand myself at all ... wat i reli wan in life.. i tin it tyme for mi to tin abt future..i dun wan my life to be a piece of shit n unhappy .. i want to be happy myself .. there so much tin that i just so hard to xpress my feeling out .. but true is feelin suck lo.. heart pain who will understand ..the pain who can feel? no one xpext ownself..stupid people alway have their own stupid thinkin.. alway is like that de.. bad tin alot to say .. good tin very hard to hear .. why cant i just b so strong .. dare to face everytin n fuck care anytin .. i tin i should start to self seach abt myself..am i doin sumtin so wrong right now?
Dear god, pls give me the strength to stay stronger . amin

2009-12-16T15:47:00.002+08:00

from last night .. i just feel so upset...abt family ,money ,relationship n even frenship ... i got many tin i kip in my heart . cox even i say who can understand.. cox they wont feel how im feeling .. i must reli learn 2 b hidup sendiri .. no point depend for people.. make them feel like burden.. haiz.. my face still rabak ,my back still pain n now + stomach pain due with red light .. fuck up siak .. 3 in 1 lo ..suay siak ... why so suay siakk ... ape yg tak kena ni ..haizzzzz.....i feeling so emooo ... yyyy...i feel jealous so jealous people around mi . =(

Dear God, pls give me the strength to stay strong. amin

so sick!

2009-12-14T23:30:00.003+08:00

feelin so sick of my forehead... having lot rashes siak ..i try to do sometin abt it . but end up go worst ..shit laa ... haizz.. nvr makeup also got rashes dun understand siak .. tin gonna c doctorrr... saw my face like that ..feel so sad .. no sweet.. haizzzz... so piss off with this dot her n there laaaaaa....arrgghhh.. my back also pain bcox of the old stupid pillow...=( pain ..pain ..

2009-11-26T00:19:00.001+08:00

I FEEL SO GOOD .. THE LAST NIGHT KISS N HUGGXX WHILE U R SLEEPING..
FEEL SO SPECIAL .. I SUKA LA .. HAHA..

2009-11-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

fucking piss off!=(

2009-11-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, always.

2009-11-17T00:50:00.002+08:00

notin much to do ... in the evenin tyme went dinner with my mum,bro,sis ,the bf,shirin . at bukit panjang.. after that when bk hm .. taobao for him chicken chop .. i was infront of the comp since wen i bk till now... still feelin upset . Ya Allah, bless his soul in peace.

misses

u will alway be in my heart.

2009-11-16T00:57:00.006+08:00

i dunoe how should i start to say ..
1 of my best guy fren pass away on 10/11/09.the last i saw him was on the last 2 week on the 5/11/09 at double o.. i do feel upset .. he's a very nice guy ..use to treat mi very well ..i just cant acept the fact, it just too sudden..whatever i say also no use .. He's gone to other world.. HAFIZ ,i will alway remember the moment we had it b4 .u will alway inside my little heart.May you rest in peace insyallah

shopppinnnnn..

2009-11-09T14:26:00.006+08:00

6/11/09

went to this insomnia at chijmes.. this is first we went to pub ourself .. he drink i was shock .. haha ... after that went to nearby to have supper then went bk hm ...

7/11/09

went to queenway to his pant,his shirt,his shoe n my 2 top .. tank .. haha ..after that went bk ..at night we went to watch movie .. my girlfren is an agent.. the show is funny la ... nice too ... after went bk home ..

8/11/09

in the afternoon went to mitup shasha at town .she bring mi to modestose to eat the piza ther for lunch ... n the piza there is very nice...i like n suka .. n after that went to harry's pub have a drink n eat ther for our dinner .. tank for all shasha .. n after that jakpeng came n mit mi we went for shop again .. this n that went bk then sleep ..

doesnt mean u dun like my frens n i cant mix with them ...is unfair ...

2009-11-06T17:36:00.005+08:00

yesterday evening tyme jakpeng went bk early ..so we went out jalan2 with shirin also .. so after this n that .. jakpeng buy his pant n shirt .. he also bought mi short n shirt ..tank alottt... after that went bk hm ..
last min went dwn to double o .. cox my fren bday ... once again ..happy birthday liz.. hope u enjoy alot last nyte ye... hahah ...

i still not sure goin out later or not ..cox jakpeng say wanna to go queenway ... so c lo.. will update again ... tc frenss..=)

enjoy with the girls ...=)

tiredddd

2009-11-04T23:47:00.002+08:00

last nyte was suck ...i cant sleep due with the stress ..arrgghhh ... a fren of call mi up too... i was so suprise looo.. haha ... tok for 1 hour plusss..this n that .. feel better after let out everytin to him ..lol... im sorry ...fren ..hehe .. tank for havin a good tok with my yeah ... hahaha ...

N actuli i was shock sumone wake mi up.. n abit more i want to punch him liao ... i tot who siak ... skali my x hubby .. went out with him to town,bugis , last to cck ..he buy mi 2 short at cotton on ..n flower clip for mi.. tank alottt... reli tired lo...so long nvr go out so call shoppin ..haha ... tank alot fad.. anyway this sunday old fren punya bro is gettin marry at bedok..still thinkin wan to go or not ...enjoy my day .. actuli tot lepak with my frens at nyte ... but abit tired ... so sorry to jasmine ... i nvr kip promise cox i nvr mitup with herrr to lepak with my frens... so sorry ...
i tin wanna to go sleep liao loo... tc frenss...

misses n hugg

2009-11-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

no more werking liao ...

simply .. the werking people there r suckerr...
still feelin very piss off... but wat to do ...goin find a new job soon .. sumtyme just hate it so much ... succckkk .. feeling so suck nowww.... sad also got ... but life still nid to go on ... buttt whhyyy this world r u so unfaiiirrrrr.... full of bullshittt.. hate it so much ... no mood at all ... but nvm ... gonna sleep soon ..

hope 2moro will b a better day ten .. pray for mi to get a job soon k ..

misses n hugg=)

hmm...

2009-10-31T00:10:00.002+08:00

today learn opening at another outlet.. at central .. boring sia... sale not that good ..dah macam boss siak .. haha ..boringgg laaaaa.. why must this world all tok abt money lehhh?? yyyyyyy..hmmm... jahat kan ... arrgghhh ... 2moro will be goin bk to suntec ... hopefully 2moro my sale will be good ..so can earn more abit money
hahahaa... notin special ... problem alottt llaaaaa la... but i still try not to tin abt it .. let it beee..... ape nak jadi then jadi laaa.... haha ... i just wan to b happy that all... =)

oh ya .. i got so much picture to uploads but lazy .. but wen off day then i will loads all kk.. heeee

nyte frenssss...

2009-10-30T07:44:00.001+08:00

I get the best feeling in the world
when you say hi or even smile at me because I know,
even if its just for a second,
that I've crossed your mind.

2009-10-26T23:54:00.002+08:00

Today first day werk ... feeling very tired n boring .. cox i didnt got to sell any product..sad=( hope 2moro will b better ... yesss....

Tired but happy..

2009-10-25T22:53:00.005+08:00

today ,wake up 11plus .. clean up the whole house .. send my anak n bro to my aunt place..after that went bk home n get ready to interview for 4pm .. but im late .. so call up the boss n say will reach b4 5pm ..reach there at 4.30pm.. so after that the boss ask mi to start training ... n end at 9pm ... actuli very abit scare..cox is my first day ma.. i tin i nid few day to get use with it ...haha ..jakpeng came n fecth mi bk ...n when to my aunt place n take my bro n my anak . 2moro will b my first day werking ... happy mood.. got a new job... hope everytin will go smooth for mi ... good luck for mi k ... =)

nyte frenss...
wednesday ?ladies nyte pe? haha

speakless..

2009-10-20T23:36:00.003+08:00

i hope i can as strong as him ..
just now went to mit my x hubby .. cox she wan to c my belover daughter...
n he buy for my anak staff .. i did buy 6 piece of donut from empire.. sumore buy 6piece got 5% discount ..lol..their donut is very nice.. hmm..notin much to do .. feeling so bored . n speakless.. hope i can go thru all the shit ...
;)

N im sori to you naz.. i dun mean to throw my anger on u ...
once again im sorry .. i dun mean to say those words to you ..
maaf kan eh ...
nyte frensss...i wish i will be at the place again ..

2009-10-19T17:21:00.005+08:00

17/10/09

last saturday.. when out at midnight... first go to cini jakpeng to play game till 1 plus to 2am .. so after that went to pasir ris prawning ... after know jakpeng for 2 year this is our first tyme playing game n prawning together .. cox he alway with his tired ..like i say ..im ok already ... since he cant bring mi out .. so i wll choose to go out with my old or new fren .. i also nvr try to hope anymore ...

18/10/09

when to swimming in the evening tyme ..n at
night was great with fren ...=)