u c la ..4day nvr mit siak?!cum my house bukan nak talk to mi or manje kan mi for awhile ..do his reseach oni ..ok nvm...after all tin he do ..11.40pm liao ..he told me wan to go bk ..ten awhile lata say lepak at my under blk for awhile ...siak la ..cum my house just to use interent for his reseach ..not mi ke ?siak la ..u my bf now siak ...sumore it a friday night ..2moro u not werking siak ...skool at 2pm je ..im tired macam mana pun i spent tyme with u siak...so i tell him no nid lepak ..i ask him go hm oni ..so he say why ..he say i attitude..wat siak ...he tin i wat siak ?!!so he salam mi n kiz mi ten he go outside ..he say cum we go dwnstair seat ..i say to him i dunwan ..ten he say knp ni ..so i say i feel macam sial la ...this n that he go ...ape lagi i close my door la ...angry siak ...fuck ar.!!!after awhile he msg mi ...he told mi that nvr mean to make mi sakit hati ke rasa macam sial..but its ur inner feeling that control u..pasal tak msg..he say he reli forget ..u also got like that b4 ..pls ..jgn fikir ape2.dun let the inner feeling control u ?!!u c wat fuck he msg ?!!!i told him ..it not just because msg oni ...alot of tin more ar...n i tell him tin is not the same b4 i patch with him ..after like that ...not reli concern about mi ,cal,msg n mitup..i remember how tired i also will mit u for awhile ...!!!grr!!actuli lily ask to mitup but i say i tired ..but tot also spend tyme with him ..but turn out like that ...i just fucking hate his word sori ..ape2 for him sori ...the easy word he use ..so he msg mi bk kan dah cakap it ur inner feelingS..he say he ask mi to sit below but i dunwan...haiz...n msg mi say he at aiman already ..baik kape ..best ar..i msg him things happen u alway treat easy..i say jus make it im inner feeling..say much oso no use ...still will treat notin happen..i say nvm ..u go ahead wif ur fren n i dun wan to spoil his mood ...sial la ..no reply la siol??!!wTF sial!!!this kind BF first tyme i c on my own eye n i got it myself a bf like that ..?! nvm ...he just msg mi at 3.25am ...msg mi tell mi he rch hm liao ..haizz....kecian ...sial..sial..sial... i dunoe why sia...im feelin so fuckup in love life..Y things alway nvr go smooth for mi ..sum people say tin happen behind it have a reason ..sum people say mayb god is testin .. i feeling breakdwn for awhile ...nid a shoulder nw .hu i have nw ?..all alone in my room in the dark...u dunoe ?!!what ur mind thinking siak..what??what u reli wan from mi siak...tell mi ten i will know ..why must u alway make mi feel lonely wen im with u ..why ..?why siak ..people ard all got their happiness ..why cant i ? ..wen i here with u now ..u dun treasure it ..wen i go ?u findin a way to get mi bk ...wat the point?cum n go ...repeat n repeat again..i not that kind of gal who is patient ..but for the fucking sake for my future n my love ...i willing to learn to b 1..but i try ...but must u every tyme like fuck care in everytin ...dun u tin u r fucking selfish ..wat the tin now u not enuf ...even i n u not long ... wif u on n off afew tyme ..but this n like that it been 1year ..we being 2gether..N u noe tat u r the one i can feel bit love..i cant b that perfect i noe ..n i cant be that kind of girl u looking for ..bt we r bk now ..i noe u told mi b4 ..normally kalau org nak macam tu,nanti drg dpt lain..so everytin is different..im sori to make u dissapointed.. im not the level girl that u can ask much..there lot peeple better ten mi ..im just can admit im normal..but i still try to b better n else ..but in ur eye i see..it just like fuck care..if want to give in ,i will still tahan ..i dun scare hard..even how hard is it ..as long as u happy..can workup im ok with it ..but how ten u can happy ?..tryin to love u ,inside mi feel tired n hard..im sitin here n tin wat shld i do ?now im with u ....tapi i feel like i dun have a bf ..cox the way u treat mi is just like my normal guy treat as a fren ..but in kissin n else of cox not with them ...u r my bf can b special abit or nt .is this asking for more?..i noe even the love toward u is not that much ..but i start to love u ..so u cant just fuckcare like notin like that..u know how to b jealous n tin bad abt mi sumtyme ..tis is a simply tin ..tak kan takleh kan ..notin is cannot ..if u will try ...remember the way u treat BECKY is becky ..ELLYSHA is ellysha...it reli very simple siak ...dun make mi feel so tired..even u noe that u r the one only i can love ,but dun let mi feel that loving u,it a like breakdwn ..i nvr go on a love life like this b4..rabak like how oso nvr like that ...i know that bad tin abt mi is alot ,u will say ...but wat abt my gd tin ?juz abit oni ..if reli tat everytin i do for u is notin ..tat list i know i already try my very best liao ..bcox i treasure everytin ..lazy to find sum1 new..to restart all over again ...is more tired actuli ..why cant we just compromise more ..dun b like that la ...wat the point of tryin hard ,if u wan tin to became like this ..im so tired of pretending everytin is ok tau ..i noe tat you would hurt mi again ...but i wanna to try ...cox now not same liao ...now ellysha dah cerai?!!!!!! i noe notin is impossible...try it or nt ..all is up to u ...if u really serious in this relationship i tin u shld know wat to do ... i feel dissapointed in my heart ,wen u r not here for mi ...i hope u appreciate wat i had done ... i dun wan to b dwn ...sobsob ...now 5am liao ..wan to sleep for awhile ..lata werk at 7.30am ar...c la becox u cannot sleep...grrr?!!nyte?!!!muack...