Thursday, January 14, 2010
sometyme just blame myself why am i havin this kind of life nowww.. so much shit to go thru .. everytin is just so unfair .. why just cant everytin go smooth for mi ?why ? or i should just admit this is my lifeee.. i should acept itt ..until now i still cant even find sumone who can really understandin even bf or gfs.. i feelin so sick n tired .. im tired laaaa.... tired nak mampos looo... every night b4 wanna to sleep ... i feel upset n i cry but without sound off..i dunwan my family know it ..i alway ask myself what should i do for my future ... in life n relationship is full of shittttt.... why must i have those stupid feeling ..why ? for now i also really dunoe wat kind of relationship im having now .. should i be happy or sad... too much tin i n him just cant get along .. tyme passes i feel that he not really that guy that actully i want ... i really dunoe wat should i do sia.. with him i just cant feel those sparks ... in relationship if there no sparks it wont really work .. i alway wish every night i sleep .. i will still get those manje ,those hugg, those joke,those kiss,those feeling is so warm .. till now i cant feel from him.. but just yesterday happen ... while im closin my eye .. he pull mi so hard to sleep at his chest n kiss at my forehead .. i tin it been so long he nvr do that to mi ... the longer we together it seem like our words goin lesses..n i tin everytin also goin lesses... i really dunoe what should i do ... i have been so obey to him ..listen to him watever he say .. do for him n this ... but did he ever really tin of it or not ... i dunoe la wat should i do sia... haizz... i feel so so useless la...=(
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
anw ..my sister goin to get marry soon .. n she will be moving over to her future husband housee.. i tin home will b sient mayb... without her kaopei ..lol.. walau macam mana pun still my own blood sister .. i just cant imagine after she leave ..my house will becum hw ... lol.. i reli wish to have a simply lifestyle sia.. have a proper family n my small litte happy family on my own.. i with jakpeng goin for 2 year . it seem like there still alot of tin we dun suit at all.. n we dun even know each other well.. we often hurt each other.. is it wat the love story goes? n reli true tat .. nvr get a love life this b4... trying be good n try to listen to him .. but cant c his appreciate at all sia.. i know he have been supportin mi for this 1 year ..n i give him place to stay ..even my family also give him those family warm wat.. ape lagi yg not enuf eh ... but he should alway tin twice watever he say mi wattt... sumtyme his words is just too hash .. lagi pun im sumone who is so called bunga.. what should i reli do siaaa.. like just nowww .out of suddenly he told mi he cant wait to get his own house n just stay with the brother oni... so this 1 year he have been staying my house is wat sia.. i feel kecik hati siaa.. ni macam make mi feel regret SIAK FOR LETTIN HIM HAVE A WARM PLACE TO STAY ... TAKDE MAKNE LAAA! :(after he say that .n i was just diam jeee.. this is not first tyme he say .. we gadoh . more then 3 tyme he pm at his facebook ,looking rent houseee la this n tat laa.... n even he put his pm at facebook that i wanna to go out with my guy fren for dinner n movie ..so called date laaa... tell mi la ..wat his fren will tok abt mi .. n even can tell the fren that i go out with people dia tak kena la ..ape la ni laaa... tapi when im so good to him n sabar him kenapa dia tak nak bilang siaaa... is just like so unfair siaaa... tin that i do good he wont try to tell the fren ..tapi kalau bad tin ... wow... so much siakkk ... why must he make mi feel so takda makne sia... i treasure sia this all while im with him .. but did he show mi tat ? there still lot of tin ... but i tin i should stop arrr... he wont ever appreciate! this is wat i can sayyyy... having a relationship with him is sooooooooo ********...i will sabarr...let c this tyme i can tahan til wen .... i swearrr to the goddd... if we will breakup again ..i wont ever get bk with him ... cox everytin still will go bk to the same ... HIS a FREAK!MONSTER!!!
anyway i have no idea should i werk with my fren kat azzura or not siaaa... waitress atau barmaid ... n jakpeng dun let me to werk at pubbb... he say werk at pub is haram .. entah laaaa.... i reli dunoe arrrr... i relii nid to have a good tin wat should i reli do now n the futureeeeeeeeeee........
I HAVE LEARN MY LESSON FOR LOVE LIFEEEE....I SHOULD TIN VERY CAREFULLY...
HOPE FREN WILL STILL BE AROUND MI N SUPPORT MI WEN IM DWWNN ... I MUST START TO LEARN TO BE COLD BLOODED!!!!
;(
