just a mask ..for him ..
“TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

just wakeup lo..notin to do ..my mum la wake mi up wor ..ask to mamam ..so eat with jakpeng together ..after all tot want to sleep bk cant sleep ..so went to bath ...after bath internet lo..just now i tin i saw sumtin that i should saw ...jakpeng now got tagged n blog..i create for him ...just now i open his tagged ..i saw sumtin that i shouldnt saw ..haha ...i was like wat the hell...i dun belive siak ..isaw jakpeng tagged sent msg ...he msg many girl siak ..n say they beautiful ,else ,n can say ask all girl to add him at msn ...OMG?!i tot im blind ..but in my own eye ...wat to say leh ...nowday im fucking no mood wanna to see my tagged msg ...dun b shock...i got 168 msg thru there ...hahs?!!bcox ..tin happen too much...i also dun have the mood to reply all the guy there ...the tagged there since last week ...i dun even bother to read all the msg ...haha ...fuck la ..whenever ...ni semua takda makna ...serious ... i c my own eye ...so forget abt everytin ..=)tank for everytin ...=) “TheOnlyEllysha.”

OOooo...jakpeng forget to take his wallet!he left it at my hm ..kecian dia ..no money eat lata ...lol...anyway just now morning after werk feel abit angry with my sister ..cox my mum wake her up...to follow her to hospital...she like attitude siak ..so i tell my mum i follow her to hospital lo...alamak ...forget that today i have to buy uniform for my daughter ..so i quickly wake my sister up ...n she give mi a black face ...wat the hell?!!!hmph!! so i went to my grandmum hm to mit my aunt ..fuck ...they say at 10am ..lol..so i lepak there lo..tyme up liao ..my uncle send we all there ...so after this n that ...my uncle sendin us bk so i tell him ..send to mi mrt ..i tot wanna to give naz a suprise ..but ..a piece of shit hor ...out of sudden he call .. say wan to mit wat tyme ...so i say cancel ar... for the swimming plan ...i action oni la...ten he angry ..he say i always got my own reason ...everytyme like that ...no tyme for him n else ...why he want to say like that siak ..haiz ..dun understand ...but its ok ..cox wanna to give him suprise ma ...so reach there liao ...buy food for shirin ..ten after that walk to his block ..fuck ar...he call mi n say u wear black shirt eh ?!!cb siak ?!!!grr?!!!so not suprise liao lo...booo!?!!!so went up to his hm ...ten he open the door n smile n laugh ...macam bodoh kan ?!!!so i say is not funny okay ?!!so give shirin mamam ..he like wan to pujok mi ar ...so i merajok ar...ten he say i merajok rabak ar...i dun care ..but after his mum bk ..im normal abit ...this n that ...ten we joking ard ar...like wat i use to joke with ming fu siak ...bad 1 tin not fair ...naz bite my backside siak ..now i feel very pain lo ...now he playing gam e...so i c lo ...sian siak ..tired sum more ..not yet sleep ...nb then he ask mi to c him play game can ?!!fuck rite?!!so angry lo ...after that ..i went to his room ..i say i wan to go hm ...then dun let mi go home wor ...ape siak ...nak balik pun takleh sia ...then he say why i can treat my x so good ..but why cant i treat him that way ...not fair wor ...ape siak ..he merapek la ...im fucking piss with him liao ..so i tell him ..aku takleh tahan ur attitude ar...serious ar....i want to go ...n im abit sad too ..but i cant stand it ..so i say i nak balik ..he dun let ...he beg mi many tyme siak ..say takmo macam gini ar...we restart all over again ...nvr fight n else la ...nvr tok merapek again ...he ask for 1 last chance ..i was like .haizz..but my heart i say liao ..i cant stand ...i gonna go ...so i act as normal ...step notin happen ..n i told him few day ago i do tin with my x ...i tell him the truth ..but he told mi he dun mind ...he say thing already do liao ..wat can he say much kan ?haizz..as long as dun do it anymore ..he beg mi ..i say to him i wont do it anymore ...but .. around 5plus ..i say to him let spend 1 last hour ...n let me to see his face ..lol...ellysha ?!!!n i tell him ...ape2 jadi ..there's a reason behind all this ..so he told mi that asal macam gini ..takmo la ..he say he reli want to b with mi ..he reli in love with mi ..he ask mi to promise him not to leave him again ...cox i leave him 2 tymes liao ..so he dun want to have the third tyme ...but i just cant promise ...cox i ever break promise with naz n jakpeng ...so no more promises now ... he ask mi to stay at his place tonyte ...he want to spend tyme with mi ..n i say im werking at 7 to 10pm ...he say he wanna to pick mi up after werk ..so swit kan ...hehe..but i say i dunoe la ...i scare my mum scold ...cox my mum like mi to stay at hm ...so cant promise ...at last he wanna to send mi bk liao ..so he went to bath ...i quickly sneak out without him knowing ...but i told his uncle ..naz not sendin mi ..i nid to go first ...so i walk out quickly from his house ..n carry my daughter siak ...is it mi ellysha ...so after this n that i faster took a cab ...n call up jakpeng ..help mi to pay my cab fare no money siak ..tank god...jakpeng came dwn ...so reach liao ..jakpeng went up to my hm n take his wallet ...came dwn n pay for the cab fare ..alamak ..not enuf siak ...so he went to atm to withdraw cash ...total $18 siak ..takda makna..hmphh?!!!my wallet left 20 oni siak ..that jakpeng give to mi ..lol...but at last i pay him bk the money to him ...total i give him$22...now i left 2 dollar coin ..kecian ellysha ...haizz...but kalau dia nak kasih balik ok jugak ar....haha ...dia kasih balik la ..hahahah ....boo?!!!tq jakpeng ...when i got money i will treat u bk ok ..that my promise to jakpeng n adi ..=) reach hm liao ...first very piss with naz ...but now i feel abit sad ar...cox i do have abit love toward him ...but becox his react ar...i force to do that ..so he will hate mi ...i didnt mean to do this to u ...but i cant tahan ar...i told u rite...early pain ....anw im sorri ..naz....tc of urself yea ..b good boi ...watevr it is ..u will alway in my little heart ..take care nazz....=) “TheOnlyEllysha.”

anyway im werking today ..n werking nyte shift lo..jakpeng is at my hm ...n goin to start werk liao ..so i ask lily cum to my place ..cox...yasin n his mum not in spore ..kecian dia ...so she can no think much at my hm to chill ...so start werking liao lo...lily msg mi say she otw liao ....so when she reaching ..i go pick her up ...b4 i go dwn i say to jakpeng i wan to buy waffle...so i take $2 out ..n he give mi $4 ..he want penat waffle...so i went dwn ...pick lily up liao ..so we went to go buy waffle..lily n mi same ..we buy 2 chocolate waffle..1 penat for jakpeng n my daughter wan a small chocolate cake ...total$4plus ...if not my wrong la...haha ..so after all went bk my hm ..lepak n else ..tok merapek ...biase la kita kan ...so this n that ..i msg adi ...ask him to help mi ..to topup my pp8 ..cox left 1dollar plus oni ..she say ok ...then i ask adi cum my place to lepak ..so awhile later adi reach liao ...lepak for awhile ...went dwn with adi n lily ..mit my fren jian xiong for awhile ...then we go 7eleven ..he spent around 12 dollar plus lo..kecian dia ..everytime cum mit mi sure spent money ...sori ..but adi i promise wenever i got money liao ..i will treat you bk ...i hope u understand ..now i reli rabak ..all dun have liao ..no money ..easy la ..all dun haf liao la ...i just left u fren je ...watever it is i love you all alot tau ...tank for being there for mi ...i happy i got fren like u all ...xspecially adi ..tank u ...anyway adi buy for mi 2 red box rokok,lily 2 also,herself 2 ..n 1 mentol for jakpeng ...after all went up bk to my hm ...jakpeng was like wanna to tok to adi ..but jakpeng like dun wan to let me know ..i feel piss abit siak ..i dunoe why ..feel like fuck siak ...n lily also toking with them ...hmphh...im so angry lo...why cant i know siak ..haizzz...so after all ..that last i say la ..u 3 tok ..who wan to ok to mi siak ...?!!!ten adi teman mi to my room ..we was talking ...at last i heard from mouth he dun wanna to make mi stress again ..i say wat la ...so adi told mi that lily know about this ..i ask wat la ..i tell adi kalau u dun tell mi urself ..i will ask lily ..so i run to lily ..rabak sia lily ..she say she dunoe anytin ..hmphh....n ten at last adi told mi that she tell mi ..so at last he say he still syg mi ..i was like ..alamak ..1 more cuming ..i tot he use to say to mi syg mi is just action je ..but now i feel adi really very great n paitent siak ..adi can tahan c mi like this ...when i reli nid she ..she reli cum to mi ...n lastly know that she actuli syg mi ..i feel so fuck up again lo...i dun wanna to hurt anyone serious ..i dun wan ..i know it hurt ...i told myself i wan to b happy ..that all ..why ..why ...why am i so fuck up ..making people ard mi feel hurt ...n i heard some words that jakpeng say is abit hurt mi ..but i acept wat he say ...wat he wan to say let him say ...let him b ..i dun wish to give people hope ..i scare to hurt people ..serious la ..i dunwan ...i reli dunwan ..what should i do now ..im reli empty now ...feel sad about the word that from their mouth ...im so fuck up la ...why must i hurt people why ....?!!!!!feeling suck now ....with all words ..why must i kena like that ...wat jakpeng told mi that he wanna to leran dance now ..so can kenal2 ngn pompuan ...ok ..good for him ..i reli wish u can get sum1 more better ...but pls ...remember wat the mistake u ever do ...dun repeat again ...i say to myself liao ...siapa2 nak leave mi just leave ...i wont beg to stay ...wat i know is love is hurt ...sumtyme is suck ...i hate being this picture ...its so suck ..suck n fuck ...bullshit ...nak love pun macam sial ?!!!sial la ..serious la ..i feel so mankok in my life siak ..why i dun wan money ..got money i can go kalaoko sing until i happy ...release all my stress out ?!!!!!fuck la ....ape nak jadi ...jadi je ..i have enuf ...i will just go do watever tin that can make mi happy ..i dun wanna to tin anytin ...is reli make my head so painful ...my head now is like fucking heavy ...but watever it is ..aku nak happy la ...ape krg ni semua nak buat ? buat je ....i wont beg u all to stay ..remember ..wats meant to be ...will alway find it way ?!!!!!fuck all la ..i cant b bother anymore ...but serious ar...i feel hurt ...nvm ...i choose to b that way ...so i acept it ..i dun nid krg nak kecian aku ...serious ...i just wish my gf all will b there for mi that all ...i hate love la ..i hate it so much ..i dunoe why ....hateeeee?!!!!!EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!oh ya just got sms n msn with naz ...u want to knwo sumtin ..naz put at is msn pm wat ?[missing sum1..does she know ?..u will alway be my baby!!gemok aka pang pui ?!!]tat is mi lo...call mi gemok n pang pui ?!!bodoh punya naz....bencin bodoh ?!!!!hmhphhh?!!!!anyway goin to swimmin with him in the mornin ...n after swimming he want to mit mi at night also ...n just now jakpeng told mi he want to bring mi out 2moro night ... i really dunoe how siak ..let c how la ...or mayb 2moro nyte i mit up with other people better kan ...haizzz...feel like fuck siak ..fuck go n die ..dun wan to think ....all bullshit ...fuck ?!!!!NBCB bodoh ?!!!!!!!!!bencin ?!!!!!!nak mampos?!!!!!!bencin mani2?!!!!hmhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

yesterday adi cum to my place ...talk to mi ...so we chat awhile .i n adi went to 7-11....b4 this i help jakpeng create a blog..he also wan ..so after that ..we go 7-11 buy water ,egg,bread..n jakpeng chocolate ..all adi treat ...tq adi ..eheh ...so after all ..wen bk to my place ...jakpeng study his exam lo ..n i n adi tok lo ...so after awhile i saw him fall asleep ..can ?haha.. so i ask him to go sleep at my bed ..ten he wake up n say takleh ...i nid to study n else ..n less ten 1 min ...tak leh ar..nak sleep ar...so he go sleep ..i tot he sleepin lo...so i tell adi alot of tin ...i told adi that i ask naz forget about mi ...n i say kalau people reali love mi ,sumhow people cum n find mi n else ..i tok abt jakpeng n naz ... i tin adi also head pain ...adi told mi that now i should do is ..be alone ..dun offen contact them n or mitup with them ...if not i cant think wat should i do ...ten awhile later my sister came bk hm liao ..n open the light n jakpeng wakeup ...he told us he listen from wat i n adi been toking about ...so he told mi that ..he wanna to let mi go ...he dun wana to c mi in this pain ...so i was like ...sad ..but i dunoe wat to do liao ...wat i know is just to cry ...my mind like stuck ...cant think of anytin ...n he tell mi go bk to naz ...y cant u bth understan mi ...!?!!why ?!!so awhile later ...i went to dwnstair alone without they knowin ...after 20min ..adi call mi ..but i did not pickup ...but at last i pickup ...adi came n find mi ..he scold mi why u go dwn just like this ...adi told mi ..she know that now i cant think anytin ....she hug mi n ask mi not to cry ...i was like ..this is the first tyme i cry infront of adi siak ..so malu siak ..haizz....n awhile later i go bk ..ten adi go bk ...wen i saw jakpeng lyin dwn ..n i ust go to my bed n jakpeng wakeup n say u go sleep k ...i also ccant sleep..so at last i sleep at his arm ..i reli fall asleep ...i kecian kan jakpeng ..cox later evening tyme he goin to take his exam ...but watever it is i wish he can pass his exam with good mark ...so he can do watever he wan .. to naz ..i dunoe wat he doin cox i nvr msg him liao ..i dun know wat he reli goin to do ...mayb he will just forget abt mi ...cox i told him just treat mi as a passby je ...but im sory to use this words to u ..i will say to u like that is beocx ...i dun wan to to sedih ...i hope u understan ...wat i nid is just tyme ...im sori to u bth ...



just now wakeup at 3plus or 4plus like that ..wakeup ..jakpeng say wan milo ..so i do for him ..n i went dwn to shop n save n buy chicken n crabmeat ..cox i wan to cook fried rice ...so cook fiinish ..eat together ..n after that he told mi that he wan to let mi go ...he say he not want to give up on mi ..he just wan to give in ..becox he kecian to c mi in this pain ...he dun wanna mi to be in pain ...but jakpeng say to mi ..he will alway love mi ...hahs?!!im just diam oni after all this he told mi ...i nvr say anytin ...i just say wat u wan to say just say ..my mind is not thinking that way ...jakpeng u say tin anytin u wan ...same as naz ..watever u wan to think u tin ..i wont beg u bth to stay ...cox i noe wat's meant to be,will alway find it way ..i now just wanna to find a way to be happy ..not to tin too much that all ..now i tell naz to let mi go ...n now jakpeng say he let mi go ...so now i should just kip myself slient ..that all ..i will not goin to jakpeng or naz ..so now even how fuck up it is ..let tymes tell ...i dun wanna to plan any tin or promise anytin ...cox i broke their promise ...im feel in dwn ar now ..serious ...cant do my werk ..but i still fight for it ..it ok ...reli dunoe why they just cat understand mi ..dah la ..nak contact just contact ..tak nak ten takya ...i dun force ...let tin to b natural ..but pls ...dun tin that im now doin this way ..im giving up so easily ...i do treasure everytin ..but the tyme is not right ..but watever it is ..i hope u bth can happy n i will be happy ..hope u bth can get sum1 better in the future ...n remember treat them well ....u all alway will be in my little small heart ..tc my loves...i tin i will be lonely again ...so i tin this tyme i shld find sumtin to do ...but wat is it ??wat huh ?erm ..haizz.....sian ar with my life like that .... “TheOnlyEllysha.”

“TheOnlyEllysha.”

at double o.. “TheOnlyEllysha.”

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