18/2/09

today at hm ..werking from 12pm to 3am ..now all my werking tyme is alway 12pm to 3an wor.. haha ..15hour leh ..actuli abit tired ar..but wat to do .. must werk hard for money ... cant alway depend all to people rite? .. lily is at my place ... relax at hm ..this n that .. cinder came dwn lepak also .. we 3 tok merapek ...this n that ten .. we also take picture ..tapi merapek punya .. haha ..so i dun tin im goin to post ..she went bk n i finish werk ..so went to ZZzzzZZz...


19/2/09

haha ... im off today .... actuli planing go to lily place ..tapi we nvr go .. at the very last min .. we went to double o ...i go with lily,shila,my sis,meijin n sherly...babi kuang xin le nvr go siak ...haha...anw omw to double .. got a msg that naz kena beat up at double o .. kecian dia ... n he told mi he wanna to c mi .. i actually wanna to go .. but .. i know that i cant do that .. so i tell him i cant .. im so sorry... i know that he upset about this ..he even told mi that he wanan to pay my cab fare ... i just hope that u understan ok naz ..this week double o is not as fun as last week wor ... so many CHIKOPEK!! haha... saw my frens there .. they asked mi to save their number some more ..tapi i nvr la ..ten we take big cab bk ... very shiok lo ..haha ...this n that reach hm at 3plus ... bath n else ..sleep at 4 plus to 5 ... lily n shila sleep at my place also ...i know that jakpeng is angry abt mi cox im goin to double .. he told mi that he cant b bother anymore ... cox if he bother abt this sure fight more... i know ... he dun wan mi to go .. i go pun i got my reason ...so at 6plus wake up make for him breadfast ..then wake bk to sleep... wake up at 8am send my brother to skool ..sleep awhile more ... then get ready for my baby for skool ... ten sleep bk again ..wake up at 12pm for werk .. so tired lo .. but nvm la .. money punya pasal kan .. hahs!...

20/2/09

wake up at 12 pm to werk n end at 3am wor ... haiyo ...so tired wor ... but lily n shila still sleepin ..i just let them sleep lo ... skali ..my baby wake shila up ...ask shila to teman her c cartoon can ? haha ... this n that i start to clean up my house .. so sick n tired ... everyday nid to do the same tin ..clean n clean nvr will b clean .dun understan why .... whole day nid to werk ,nid clean up ,nid to take care my bb ,nid to cook n serve people sumore ... so tired u know ... sumtyme people just dun understan my tired ....haizzzz....anw tq for lily n shila help mi to do abit of my werk n help mi to fold the baju ... love u all mani ...so today i cook ayam masak merah ... i tin is very nice loo... but jakpeng say too spicy ... but i tin is not lo ... haiz ... so hard to serve him la ... haizz... oh ya .. jakpeng bought ice cream bk ....so this n that makan liao .. i went bk to my room ...to continue my werk ..then lily cum in teman mi for awhile ...we sing kalaoko for awhile ..haha ... merapek kan ... n jakpeng is outside with sila ... n ya he ask mi to ask my gfs stay at my place so they can teman mi ... cox he busy ... very busy !this n that ... he say wanna to use comp for awhile ..tapi i tin he use nearly 2 hours ... bukan using thsi free tyme to layan mi more... haizz....after finish using .. tell mi he tired wanna to sleep ... haizz .. i dunoe wat to say anymore ...

im feeling so sick n tired !he seem to so busy nvr really pay attention on mi ...im so sian la..haizz..abt his studies i will b understan ... but tin reli change..sometyme i also dunoe wat i reli wan .so many tin nid to do n tin ... endup becox stress...try to avoid tin ..watever it is ..but still cant ..can ran away of the facts..still nid to face it n be strong ...to bear with the decision i make..everytin is just tempory that wat make mi feel ...starting to b numb n jaded!staying with mi ... doesnt mean u spent tyme for mi .. go n tin again wat u doin all while in my place even u r with mi ... my gfs got eye to c...tat is just wat u say spent tyme all with mi .. hahs!!!or should i say The biggest mistake of my life is that I said yes, when I had to say no? haizz..Everytime you walk on by I try to say something But end up with nothing .

haizzzz.. now chattin with shila on msn ... kecian dia ... kip on talking abt asky... haiz ... sumore can tell mi .she shud learn frm naz ..(still can wait for sum1 even though she wit sumone else).. merapek la this gals...but abt this i feel touch ar... tapi ... ii already choose jakpeng ..so i n him now is just fren ..fren oni... i tin i will stop here ... haiz ...
hope that my day will b better 2moro ... a new brand day ...
nxt month i gonna do sumtin more to make myself feel happy ...

I'm falling apart inside. Bawling, breaking and I don't know why.
good nyte gfs
love u all much...

whose ur daddy ? whose daddy ? whose ur daddy ??

haha