Wednesday, August 12, 2009
i just reach home ..actually tot mitin my 2 childhood frens for a drink .. but end dun have ..cox they ask mi to clark key ..but i nvr go dwn .. far sia..skali naz came down to mit mi ..he know that im reli sad abt this all.. he came all over dwn batok by cab.. poor him wasted money on cab n treat mi makan n buy mi a small soft toy. lol=) with my small sisters all... i mean my sister fren .. all know that im dwn .. actuli he wanna to bring mi to play bowling.. but i nvr go la .. cox i dun wan to left my sister n the fren there ..cox they know im sad n wan to teman kat mi ..so after this n that we chill n i send him to take cab ..N then luckily jiaxin is here accpmy mi ..im reli scare to be alone..i start to scare when turn to nyte.. being alone at nyte all alone at my room ..but my eye now still not tired ..i cant sleep at all ..COx i nvr got to drink ..they dun allow siak .. n my childhood frens is at pub ... =( i still cant sleep now .. i really dunoe how lo ... haizzz..im werking morning later at 9am siak .. but nid to wake up at 8am to send my bro n later on send my daughter to skool ...then start werk ... mati arr... if i kip on like that ... im actually having a bad cough.. feel like goin to b sick siak .. hope not la .. i hate sia when sick n there no one here for accmpy mi by side ..haizz..n got a msg from naz .. i told him i start to tin n sedih again wen i reach my hm .. but when just now im out .. i dun reli tin anytin lo .. once i step in my house i have the sedih feeling again ..sobsob... feel like cryin again ..
but i nid to b strong ...i really nid people herefor mi now to support n cheer with mi .. everytyme macam ni sia .. tin happen i dunoe wat to do .. the oni tin i know is cry ... cry also no use ..cry my eye hurt .. haizz...ape lagi sia i can do ... oni i drink then i can have a good sleep sia.. seriouss... haizz.. i miss the kiss,hug,armpit smell,sharing blanket,the squeeze feeling,his chest n his snorin ... nvm la .. tin just happen so tyem oni can heal dwn everytin ...anyway tank for cinder n zul .. i will try be strong .. n now i can oni do is concentrate on my werk, pay attention on my belover daughter n Problems out, party in waste tyme to heal dwn ...i will b strong ..i must ..
N im really shock that when bth of my so call childhood frens told mi that they actuli like mi for sumtyme liao ...but i just told them i oni treat them like my buddy n bro .. no other feelig ..n i wont want to about it also ...im just so sorrii ...Sori naz ,even i know that u actuli being waitin for this day . but i still cant .. i just dun wan to have a new relationship or elsee ..im just sorrii ...
i miss you :(
