Thursday, August 13, 2009
i tin is was a mistake to mitup n overnyte with him last nyte.. tin seen to be more complicated.. after the meetin i feel more worst ... yes i got hugg,kiss,lay on his chest,smell his armpit ,sharing blanket,his snoring..n i have a good sleep while his beside mi ..even is not like sleepin on his chest .. i reli feel so warm when his just beside mi .. n last nyte im was too ***** so we even did that .. i feel like it goin to happen like the past again ...i know is the past i actuli wanna to be sex partner with him ..but later on we go on together ..feeling those bit love out.cox i have biasa teman from him..N but now i dun wan sex partner anymoree..i dun want.. i reli feel so confusee now ... i reli dunoe wat should i do nowwww...what will goin happen soon .. i feel more upset ..i miss those teman from him ..whenever im alone, those listening ear ,those noise from we bth ,those helpin to do my werk,those waitin for him bk hm,those waitin him bk to eat together,those motor sound when he reach,those weekend in or out n else ...but i still cant forget the abt the tin he do it mi ..that is reli a very very special present i got it in my whole life from him .. im really scare being lonely...but i can say i reli dunoe wat to do lo... im sumone who dunoe how to decide..i hate this part of mi .. i reli nid teman n loveee..cox i scare of lonely..im alway try to give him what i can , try not to do tin that he dun reli like or what ,i give him shelter to stay, even try to give him those family love,cox i know he lax of love from his parent..that is why he say he own mi lot. he told mi his frens n parent dun understand n he himself also dun understand him ownself.. i told him b4 .. if he not gonna to sumtin abt it .. end up he making himself worst ...even the love from mi to him is not as much ,but i treasure everytin .. i reli do .. even we having so many bad past.. i reli do treasure, cox i belive it not that easy to get special feeling toward sumone .even i know that alot of tin he dun suit with mi .. but i treasure all the tyme we being together n helping each other...but i know him for 2years soon liao ..but he n mi still dun understand each other... n quarrel until got into fight ..i reli cant bear with this ...wat should i do .. i reli losee nowww... i cant tin of anytin i can do ... or i should give myself sum tyme again n tin about it ... or like wat he say peace of tyme ..tyme break? isnt it the same ...haizz...im stress laaaa... no one can feel siak the feeling im having nowwww...i reli feel like killing myself ..n 1 more tin there no women will merajuk for notin !!haizz..im lost laaa... i reli dunoe...what shouldd i ddoooooo!im lost..tonight how ?actuli i hate drinking!cox i will get rashes n when wake up the head will pain !!!!but wat else i can do ..haiz;(
